Anniversary

Today a year ago Eric and I were on the plane, en route to Switzerland. I have now lived my dream of spending one year in Zuoz. It feels good to have been able to carry out this dream. I am so happy to have been able to make good use of and enjoy my father's apartment. It was fun to be able to share it with so many friends. I am very grateful to have had this opportunity.

I have not written in a long time. There really wasn't much new to write about and I didn't have the energy to carve little stories out of everyday occurrences. I feel like I am only now starting to recover from the holidays - a whole month later. The stomach flu which I was fighting when I posted my last entry hung on for almost a week. The intestinal problems per se were gone, but I had no appetite and since I didn't have any reserves, I spend that time in a low sugar, low energy daze. I am once again constantly hungry and eating with much appetite, except that at work I still don't have enough breaks to be able to eat as much as I should. It's therefore difficult to put back on the lost pounds. (I know, I'll never get much sympathy on that subject!)

The 80% schedule has now really kicked in. The bakery's scheduling is mysterious, for in February I am getting 15 days off - which is more than half the month! I am not complaining. I'll once again have some time for myself, time to respond to email, time to sort my pictures, to ski, to visit my aunt, to do my tax returns (I get to fill out both the Swiss one and the US one!), to do nothing, and, above all, welcome guests. Marianne was here last week. Unfortunately I had just one day off, just that one day to share with her. And as luck would have it, I wasn't able to get a ride home on either of the subsequent two nights when she was still here, getting home only at 8:35 - when she was just about ready for bed after a day of skiing.

I will also have to use my time off to think, to plan my post-Zuoz life. I still haven' t found a buyer for the apartment but I am optimistic that I will be able to sell it this spring and I need to figure out what I'll do next, where I'll live. Return to Portland or stay in Switzerland? It was nice not having to think about it for a few weeks, but now I have to deal with it.

Work is easier because the horrible crowds are gone. We are more relaxed, the clients are more pleasant, and we actually can take the time to exchange a few words, which makes everything more interesting and more fun. Today I served a French-speaking couple who comes on a regular basis, and I thought I heard a slight Neuchatel intonation - and indeed, they used to live in Hauterive, just a mile or so from my father's place. At the same time work is also more difficult, because the honeymoon with my coworkers is over. For the first time I am experiencing mobbing: one leader constantly reprimanding me for alleged mistakes, and some of the others joining her. I don't care much because I will not stay beyond April and my self-esteem is not low enough to be eroded by a group of women sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, the phases of the moon and the moods of the boss. Still, it doesn't make for a pleasant work day, and today a couple of colleagues didn't speak to me - an alternate form of mobbing! An additional difficulty with work is the fact that all my fingertips have cracks, which makes it difficult and painful to type, to hold a pen, to get cash out of the register, to tie bows around the pastry boxes. Today I noticed that my fingers started bleeding while gift-wrapping some chocolates and the clients left with a few blood spots on the paper - fortunately relatively well hidden by the bow...

In part the cracks are caused by the extreme cold and the dryness of the air. It's been -20 C (0 F or less) for the last two weeks or so. It hasn't snowed during all that time. I went downhill skiing last Friday, but the snow is old and worn out. In town there's hardly any snow left, and the south slopes are beginning to show dried grasses and rocks. It's a very different picture from what Eric and I found when we rolled into town a year ago.


The sun is returning into the town. A shaft of light next to the bakery.



















Art in the snow.















Curling. We actually sell chocolate curling stones at the bakery.















I made a new friend!

80 %

It's my day off, the first since January 3rd, and I am sick - therefore this posting will be short. I don't know if it's stomach flu or if my employer poisoned me with bad food - it wouldn't be a first. I'll see tomorrow how my colleagues are doing. It came on very suddenly in the afternoon, diarrhea at first, then nausea. I had to leave the store, slept in my room until my colleague from Zuoz finished at 7pm and could drive me home. I barely made it to my bathroom to throw up my cookies.

I slept for 12 hours - fortunately today was my day off. Needless to say, I didn't get much accomplished, and the Christmas decorations are still up. I have zero energy, have not really been able to eat anything and I am worried about tomorrow - I have to leave the house at 6:15am to start my shift at 7am.

Things should improve soon though, as my 80% workload has been approved.

Frankly, the last 3 weeks are lost in a haze of tiredness. Or I am too tired tonight to scrape my brain to find some interesting stories. Not only have I been working long and many days, but I also spent considerable amounts of time dealing with the sale of the apartment. I put ads in a couple of papers and for two weeks not a day went by where I didn't find a text message from interested folks when I went on break. Meaning that instead of relaxing during the breaks, I had to return messages (in 3 languages, a major challenge for someone who barely knows how to text), set up appointments, give directions. And then, at home, clean, tidy up, greet viewers at 8pm... I have one prospective buyer who already visited twice. It's now between my place and another one. It will be a big relief when the apartment is sold.


Cross-country skiing on a glorious day off (not today!)














All kinds of traffic on frozen lake St. Moritz. They are starting to get it ready for horse races.

Happy New Year

I am looking at the New Year stretching out ahead of me with anxiety mixed with curiosity. What decisions will I be making over the next few months, and where will I be living a year from now???

Since December 20th I have had only one day off, Christmas Day. I have tomorrow, January 3rd, off and then I'll work again until the 10th. I am afraid that this first day off will be devoted to catching up on sleep, paying bills and general house keeping, as I haven't done any of the above for quite a while. Since the weather has been absolutely gorgeous over the last few days, and should continue to be so, I will squeeze in an hour or two of skiing at some point.

Work is worse than ever. We are now facing a permanent wall of clients all day long - it feels like an attack. It's relentless. Ironically, it's the locals who are also working who are the most pleasant, giving a smile, cracking a joke, taking their time. The tourists generally are unpleasant. Although they are on vacation, they seem to be in a hurry, looking and acting impatient, increasing our stress levels. When the weather is nice many don't bother taking off their sun glasses, which makes helping them even more unpleasant. Many expect us to understand what they want while they keep on chatting on their phones. Dogs in sophisticated coats with hoods and fur and bows bark, kids scream, lovers kiss, couples argue. Many clients pace up and down the length of the store, in search of the perfect goodie, avoiding eye contact. Families split up, with Mom buying bread while Dad picks up some pastries with a colleague, and then they expect it all to be rung up at the same cash register. And they tell us that they want to pay in Euros only after we have rung it all up in Swiss francs, and they complain about the exchange rate (if you don't like our rate, there are two banks withing 50 yards) or about the fact that we have to give the change in Swiss francs (sorry, I can't help it if the Swiss haven't adopted the sagging Euro). The store closes at 7pm, in principle. However, since the folks still sitting in the restaurant will eventually have to get out, we actually cannot lock the door, so clients keep on coming in. And when there is no more bread and no more pastries, in their despair, they buy packaged cakes and chocolates.

The silver lining is that we are an impressive team. Once in a while one of us manages to crack a joke. We help each other, cover for each other. The boss' wife helps on a regular basis and while she is not one of us, she no longer limits her comments to criticisms but allows deviations from her otherwise very strict rules - because she knows that her own rules cannot be followed to the letter in the overall chaos.

The above is my daily life and each night I arrive home more tired than the previous one. It's fascinating to observe how, as time goes by, there is no energy left for anything else. I have pretty much stopped sending emails, even to my sisters and to my kids and I keep phone calls short. The stress, the many hours on my feet, running up and down stairs and the bending over to scoop up chocolates or pastries are taking their toll on my body. My bad knee is constantly swollen, a tendon in a heel is acting up, most of my finger nails are broken and and the fingertips have cracks. My lower back hasn't recovered since it went out in November.

Despite all of the above, I am stealing snippets of real life during which I enjoy myself. I am reminded that I am alive and that life is beautiful. Christmas was a delight, albeit short. I got home at 8pm on the 24th. Pablo had chilled some blush and gotten munchies out. Before digging in though, I changed my clothes, dressing up to signal that this was a special night. I found a white linen table cloth and matching napkins that used to belong to my mother. Pablo brought a garland of electric lights. I lit candles all around the living room. We treated ourselves to a cheese fondue and exchanged gifts.

I was not planning on staying up on the 31st. There was an event on the square in Zuoz, but between my exhaustion and the fact that I don't really know anybody, I didn't feel like joining. I remembered the hike organized by the town and how nobody had talked to me, and I was afraid I'd find myself all alone in the crowd. However, just as I was going to bed, the bells started ringing. Switzerland doesn't have a Times Square or a dropping ball. Instead, 2o minutes to midnight, all the bells start ringing, to ring out the old year They stop at midnight, for the 12 strikes, and then again, all the bells ring for another 20 minutes to ring in the New Year. In order to hear the bells the people open their windows and go out on their balconies.

At midnight the fireworks started. There were at least 3 simultaneous major ones (remember Zuoz has only 1,200 inhabitants!) going for some 15 minutes. One was across the river, lighting up the whole landscape. The mountains were echoing the explosions. Many private fireworks were shot off here and there as well, huge rockets, all highly illegal in Oregon! Fortunately on January 1 the bakery opened a little later than usual so I slept in for an extra welcome hour.

The owners of the store donated a couple of bottles of champagne - the real deal. However, they did not donate the time for us to enjoy it, so last night, after finally getting the last clients out the door at 7:15pm, we shared the two bottles. It was one rare light moment between all of us, including the boss' wife. I spent the night in St. Moritz, since today, Sunday, there was not going to be a train early enough to get me to work on time. So last night I saw more fireworks. At 10pm I walked down towards the lake, as they were shooting them off the frozen lake. It was one of the most impressive fireworks I have ever seen. Not only were the colors and design mind blowing, but they were lighting up the whole town perched on the hillside as well as the snowy surface of the frozen lake dotted with spectators. With the mountains all around us the noise was overwhelming. All this by some -20 C with the snow cracking and squeaking underfoot.

To all my friends and readers: best wishes for a happy New Year.


Marzipan pigs at the bakery - to bring good luck for the New Year. At the bottom of the picture you can see parts of tools. The Italians believe that touching iron brings luck, so we sell cocoa covered chocolate tools (scissors, files, pliers, horse shoes, etc).










On a walk during my morning break. Lake St. Moritz, St. Moritz Bad, Piz da la Margna.














A cold morning in St. Moritz Bad.















Fireworks over Lake St. Moritz.