New York

It's hard to imagine a more striking contrast than between Zuoz and New York! Within 3 days I went from snow to the hot and humid NY summer, from long daily walks in nature to spending as much time as possible in air conditioned buildings. The hum of the unit in Eric's room has replaced the roaring of the river. We keep the shades closed at all times either for protection against the sun, or for privacy. I believe the moon was full over the weekend - but here I feel so cut off from the natural world that it never occurred to me to look up into the night sky.

I was wondering whether being back in the US would stir any patriotic feelings and make me want to return. It hasn't happened. The decision of the Supreme Court on the Chicago ban on handguns is precisely what scares me about this country. Obviously New York cannot be compared to Portland and I am sure I would feel very differently if I had gone all the way home. But here I am, with my eternal Swiss accent, and people want to know where I come from. How difficult a question can it be? Very much so for me, and I have developed various answers, depending on who's asking. I am feeling so out of place here, yet, a lot is very familiar, because after all I have lived in this country for 25 years, and of course, I have visited here many times. Sometimes I forget that tomorrow I'll fly back to Switzerland, rather than to Oregon. It feels like it's time to go home, and back to work at the foundation, and then reality sets in. I realize that it was great to get a break from the Lemonade Project and for just a few days go back to what used to be normal life.

Indeed, this trip to New York was no different from the others, its purpose being to see Eric perform. I once more became the chief groupie of the Lydia Johnson Dance company. I enjoyed it thoroughly, despite the fact that it was a very challenging performance: Kerry, Eric's roommate and one of the company's lead dancers, injured her back a couple weeks ago. She was just about recovered and did well at the dress rehearsal - but reinjured herself during the first performance. The show had to go on without her and the next day the company reworked the program during an emergency rehearsal. They are underfunded and cannot afford understudies, and various dancers had to learn Kerry's parts in just a few hours. It was very interesting to observe how they salvaged the show and picked up their new roles with much professionalism. In a wonderful pep talk, the choreographer and director of the company, Lydia Johnson, gave them permission to dance with joy despite the very painful and stressful situation and they pulled it off, dancing their hearts out.

Eric's girlfriend, Pam, actually lives near the theater where the rehearsals and performances were taking place - so he stayed at her place for the duration of the show, letting me use his room. Being on my own was an opportunity to develop new relationships - with the city itself, and especially with Kerry, since I became the one who was going back and forth from her to her dance mates. Everybody was publicly very courageous but my status as resident mom allowed me to witness the pain, the sadness, the shock. The company feels like a family, the dancers are all very supportive of each other and for me it was a privilege to be treated like a member of the family for a few days.

On the lighter side... Eric and I managed to see each other one-on-one every day despite the complicated logistics - which was very fun for me. One day we walked down Broadway, starting at now car free Times Square, taking in the fun exhibit, Catwalk on the Sidewalk. Yesterday we tried to go to Governor's Island. I was looking forward to the freshness of the sea breeze, the quiet away from cars - and to see something new. Unfortunately the line to the ferry discouraged us. We estimated a wait of something like at least one hour... and just getting to the end of the line in the stifling heat discouraged us. We bailed and went home to watch TV in the air-conditioned room! At sunset we climbed to the rooftop for happy hour with an unending view of buildings!

I am flying back tomorrow night. I trust the flight back will be as easy as the trip over, which went very smoothly except that Eric and I missed each other at JFK and I had to find my way home on public transportation. Fortunately Eric had sent me detailed instructions and except for the tiredness and the heat, it was easy.

Pictures:

1. Times Square
2. Eric Vlach and Jessica Sand (photo by Kokyat, from Oberon's Grove)
3. Happy hour on the roof